Whether we’re recovering from trauma, overcoming addiction, leaving an unhealthy relationship, or making any significant life change, we all follow a similar process as we heal. Understanding this journey, known as the Stages of Change Model can provide insight into where you are in your own transformation and what to expect as you move forward.
If you’ve ever felt frustrated by setbacks in your healing journey, wondered why change feels so difficult, or questioned whether you’re “doing recovery right,” understanding these natural stages can offer both validation and guidance for the path ahead.
Why transformation takes time
The ‘Stages of Change Model’ was developed by psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente through extensive research on how people successfully make lasting changes. Their groundbreaking work revealed that change isn’t a single event but rather a process that unfolds over time through predictable stages.
Most importantly, this model shows that setbacks and cycling through stages multiple times is completely normal and not a sign of failure, but an integral part of how lasting change actually happens.
Stage 1: Precontemplation
In precontemplation, we genuinely don’t recognise that a problem exists or that change is needed. This isn’t denial, it’s simply that we haven’t yet made the connection between our current situation and the need for transformation.
In trauma recovery, we might not yet recognise how past experiences are affecting our current relationships or emotional wellbeing. In addiction recovery, we may not see our substance use as problematic. In relationship patterns, we might not recognise that our ways of connecting with others stem from learned behaviours that no longer serve us.
Movement into the next stage often occurs through gentle information from trusted sources, observations from caring friends, or natural consequences that create discomfort with the status quo.
Stage 2: Contemplation
In contemplation, we begin to recognise that a problem exists and start considering change. However, this stage is characterised by ambivalence – we simultaneously want to change and want to stay the same.
This ambivalence might sound like:
- “I know my anxiety is affecting my relationships, but what if therapy makes things worse?”
- “I want to leave this toxic relationship, but I’m scared of being alone.”
- “I should probably address my childhood trauma, but I’m worried about opening that can of worms.”
Time spent in contemplation isn’t wasted time, it’s essential preparation that involves processing the reality of change, building motivation, and addressing fears about the unknown.
Stage 3: Preparation
During preparation, we move from thinking about change to actively planning for it. We begin taking small, concrete steps toward transformation while building the foundation for larger changes ahead.
This might involve:
- Research and planning: Finding therapists, support groups, or treatment programmes
- Small behavioural changes: Testing our readiness and building confidence
- Support system development: Telling trusted people about our intentions
- Resource gathering: Learning new coping skills or creating safety plans
Taking time to build skills, gather support, and create plans isn’t procrastination—it’s strategic foundation-building that significantly increases the likelihood of success.
Stage 4: Action
The action stage is when we actively implement new behaviours and ways of being. This involves consistent implementation of new strategies, active use of support systems, and regular practice of new skills, even when they feel uncomfortable.
Common challenges include:
- Old patterns feeling comfortable even when unhealthy
- Non-linear progress with good days and difficult days
- External pressures from people uncomfortable with our changes
- Perfectionism making any slip-up feel like failure
Support yourself by celebrating small victories, expecting discomfort as normal, using your support system actively, and focusing on progress rather than perfection.
Stage 5: Maintenance
Maintenance involves consolidating gains and preventing relapse into old patterns. This stage requires ongoing vigilance and continued practice of new coping skills, awareness of triggers, and regular use of support systems.
Maintenance isn’t passive—it requires active, ongoing effort. However, this effort typically feels less intense than the action stage because new patterns have become more habitual.
Stage 6: Termination
Termination represents the end point where new behaviours have become so integrated that old problematic patterns are no longer tempting. However, not everyone reaches this stage, and that doesn’t represent failure. For many changes, particularly those related to trauma recovery, ongoing maintenance may be the more realistic and healthy goal.
Moving backwards isn’t failure
One of the most important aspects of this model is recognising that people commonly cycle through stages multiple times. This happens because:
- Life stressors can trigger regression as we cope with overwhelming situations
- Incomplete preparation might become apparent, requiring stronger foundations
- New awareness gained through experience reveals additional areas needing attention
Each cycle through the stages typically brings greater insight, stronger skills, and an increased likelihood of lasting change. Understanding this reduces shame and self-criticism when setbacks occur.
This article is for educational purposes and should not replace professional treatment.